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Apr. 12th, 2009
When I was about seven years old and still living in Germany I had a dream. I've never had a dream that I've remembered as well as that one, and I still remember it to this day. That's pretty incredible considering I don't usually even remember dreams on a day to day (or night to night) basis. I haven't had the dream recently, but it has entered my thoughts. I never thought about significance behind that dream before, but maybe since it is trying to get my attention I should give it more thought.
In my dream, I wake up in my room. We lived in a two story home (my room was on the second story) on Anton Bruckner St. It is daytime, but I panic as I wake up. It is almost like I experienced a nightmare in my dream and woke up to it. I look around for everyone, for my family, but I can't find them in the house; and then the bees show up. I run into the street outside and discover that there's no one to be seen, anywhere. The bees chase after me and I run to a friend's house, a friend who lives a few blocks from my home, but not too far. It seems like I run forever, and the bees don't relent. When I finally get to my friend's home, I climb the stairs to his apartment. When I get there I find the corpse of my mother in the kitchen. The bees have swarmed her body and are consuming her. My heart practically leaps out of my chest. I just keep running. I am chased up the stairs to the roof. Once I'm up there, there is no where else for me to go. The bees surround me, and I woke up terrified.
I've never been good at interpreting dreams, especially not my own. I am considered the non-believer in my family here in New Mexico. CD, Byron, and of course Sam all put a lot more faith and energy into "superstitious" beliefs than I do. I believe definitely in the power of dreams over our lives, however. I have had "premonition" dreams create deja vu in my life. There have been things (not really big deal style events) that I've dreamed about and then they happened, months, even years later. Of course there are a lot of people who talk about the psychology of dreams, and I suppose that goes for past events as well. Perhaps this dream from my childhood was a premonition or a subconscious "on" switch for something, or "off" switch.
Bees have many symbolic meanings, including messengers. Perhaps I was receiving a message. I was constantly fleeing and then became cornered. My mother, the last remaining signal of family at that time, was removed. My parents had split up by this point, and I was really missing my Papa. Could my dream have marked a change in my psychology? Maybe it was letting me know about my path in the future. Making myself constantly run away from something, and cornering myself even though I should know better. Leaving my family behind in traditional roles.
In my dream, I wake up in my room. We lived in a two story home (my room was on the second story) on Anton Bruckner St. It is daytime, but I panic as I wake up. It is almost like I experienced a nightmare in my dream and woke up to it. I look around for everyone, for my family, but I can't find them in the house; and then the bees show up. I run into the street outside and discover that there's no one to be seen, anywhere. The bees chase after me and I run to a friend's house, a friend who lives a few blocks from my home, but not too far. It seems like I run forever, and the bees don't relent. When I finally get to my friend's home, I climb the stairs to his apartment. When I get there I find the corpse of my mother in the kitchen. The bees have swarmed her body and are consuming her. My heart practically leaps out of my chest. I just keep running. I am chased up the stairs to the roof. Once I'm up there, there is no where else for me to go. The bees surround me, and I woke up terrified.
I've never been good at interpreting dreams, especially not my own. I am considered the non-believer in my family here in New Mexico. CD, Byron, and of course Sam all put a lot more faith and energy into "superstitious" beliefs than I do. I believe definitely in the power of dreams over our lives, however. I have had "premonition" dreams create deja vu in my life. There have been things (not really big deal style events) that I've dreamed about and then they happened, months, even years later. Of course there are a lot of people who talk about the psychology of dreams, and I suppose that goes for past events as well. Perhaps this dream from my childhood was a premonition or a subconscious "on" switch for something, or "off" switch.
Bees have many symbolic meanings, including messengers. Perhaps I was receiving a message. I was constantly fleeing and then became cornered. My mother, the last remaining signal of family at that time, was removed. My parents had split up by this point, and I was really missing my Papa. Could my dream have marked a change in my psychology? Maybe it was letting me know about my path in the future. Making myself constantly run away from something, and cornering myself even though I should know better. Leaving my family behind in traditional roles.