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Estranged and Interested
Apr. 23rd, 2011 10:33 pmToday there was quite a bit of talk in our household about family, though in an indirect way. Sam has been working tirelessly on our family tree. It is a large tree, we just need to find the leaves to put on it. The way it's being done is that all relations are being counted. We're not just going back by a paternal or maternal lineage on one or two sides. We are counting all in-laws and so on. We have quite a list of last names already going now because of taking this route. I like it though because it's more complete. Just because families diverge doesn't make them less related, just a bit more distant in some technical senses.
It's been sort of strange that she's put so much energy into it (especially "my" side of the tree) considering the relations we've had with my family. After talking to her about it for quite a while, because I'm thick-skulled, I realize that it's not necessarily about being close to our family now or in the future. It's about giving our descendants opportunities which we may not have ourselves. Tonight Sam asked us some basic questions about our lives and philosophies toward things. One question was who was most influential when you were eight years old and younger. Another was when did you become aware of world events. The idea is that even with short answers it gives people reading them later (perhaps generations down the line) a chance to get to know their ancestors better, and even get a more personal view of the time period. While I feel people might not be interested in what I have to say about certain things or care about what I went through as an adolescent, some might. Sam put it to me this way. If I could know what my grandparents or great-grandparents would have answered these same questions with, would I be interested? I would definitely be interested. So who's to say that my great-grandchildren or great-grand-nieces and nephews won't be interested in what Old Chris had to say.
Another aspect of those questions that I really like is that it made me think a bit more about the family of today. At least one of my answers reflected favorably on my mom, with whom I have a strained relationship at best. It makes me think more about how things are not one-sided. No family that I have differences with right now has ever been only negative to me or with me. I've had good experiences with all of them. It's important to learn from the burns, but foolish to dwell on them. I like that aspect of it. I feel a lot more centered about my family.
It's been sort of strange that she's put so much energy into it (especially "my" side of the tree) considering the relations we've had with my family. After talking to her about it for quite a while, because I'm thick-skulled, I realize that it's not necessarily about being close to our family now or in the future. It's about giving our descendants opportunities which we may not have ourselves. Tonight Sam asked us some basic questions about our lives and philosophies toward things. One question was who was most influential when you were eight years old and younger. Another was when did you become aware of world events. The idea is that even with short answers it gives people reading them later (perhaps generations down the line) a chance to get to know their ancestors better, and even get a more personal view of the time period. While I feel people might not be interested in what I have to say about certain things or care about what I went through as an adolescent, some might. Sam put it to me this way. If I could know what my grandparents or great-grandparents would have answered these same questions with, would I be interested? I would definitely be interested. So who's to say that my great-grandchildren or great-grand-nieces and nephews won't be interested in what Old Chris had to say.
Another aspect of those questions that I really like is that it made me think a bit more about the family of today. At least one of my answers reflected favorably on my mom, with whom I have a strained relationship at best. It makes me think more about how things are not one-sided. No family that I have differences with right now has ever been only negative to me or with me. I've had good experiences with all of them. It's important to learn from the burns, but foolish to dwell on them. I like that aspect of it. I feel a lot more centered about my family.
